We find Historians funny.
Why? Here’s the deal…
They take an ancient culture that is anything other than White. They will call it “advanced” and “ahead of their time”. And then, White culture came and introduce a new element to their world like diseases and enslavement. Then the culture died while White people make it part of their “culture”.
And then the Historian would say “if it’s not for us, these people would have lived and we would have advanced further than this.” Then, they get a little sad.
Then almost have to tone themselves down because their ancestors brought shame to them.
If we’re making this up, let us know.
(Waits for someone to say “it’s human nature” and “divide and conquer”)
You know how to read.
Please, take your hand and pat yourself on the back because we’re too busy.
Then look up the word “critical thinking”. Once you apply “critical thinking” to “history”, then feel free to talk to us.
If the applications of such methods are irrelevant to your argument, please attempt to take the dictionary (or the laptop or mobile phone) and apply directly to the forehead repeatedly at a rapid pace until you develop a seizure.
If you need to re-read the dictionary to comprehend everything in this post, we understand. We’re not judging you.
(We can’t even see you)
Quick Thought: First Amendment Right…
Remember, when saying “it’s my First Amendment Right to post what I want to on my blog”… keep in mind of the following:
It is your right to post what you want. But it’s also our right to question what you meant. Your “right” is a two-way street. It’s given and it can also be taken away.
Here’s an example…
You want to say something like elimination of the Head of State:
Threats against the President, First Family, the Vice President, and visiting heads of state are taken seriously by the Secret Service. Which means that no matter what fairy tale your militia-based home school told you about what “free speech” means, no one gets to say they’re going to kill the President. That kind of shit (even if it’s a “joke”) will likely get you a visit from some very exhausted — and likely cranky — Secret Service agents. [x]
BTW, if anyone threaten us, even if it’s anonymously, we know the proper steps to make sure you get visited by the cops. We will even write a guide in the future so that other tumblrs can take advantage.
So, remember… you have a right to ask questions and post what you want. We have a right to defend ourselves to the highest extend of the law. And we will USE that law.
Quick Thought: Nice Guys…
If you ever thought of saying “I’m a nice guy,” have a seat and let us introduce ourselves.
We’re a “nice guy” as well. We spent about 2 teenage years figuring out what “nice guy” means to girls.
It means “doormat that will burn your feet”.
So, you’re saying “I’m a doormat that will burn your feet”.
Visualize that for a minute.
No woman wants to get their feet burn. They spent hours getting pedicures and making them look lovely. Would they want a doormat that will ruin that? No.
That’s why there are “douchebags”. These “douches” pushes the girls out of the way of those doormats, but are thoughtful enough to catch them so they don’t fall into a mud puddle.
Now, imagine going to a dating site where it looks like hell to women’s feet.
So how do you get women without sounding like you want to burn feet?
Well… if we have to tell you that, prepare to be a doormat for the rest of your life, partner.
(We’re having an off day. Too busy saving the world. We’ll be back to our serious selves tomorrow.)
Quick Thought: If You Think We’re Bad…
We want to inform you that maybe we’re not pushing the envelope.
We got 100+ drafts that never seen the light of day because we thought it would be “too edgy” for White people… hell, even PoC to digest. Others, we’re waiting for our R&D to pay off before releasing them.
Here are some topics we wanna publish, but can’t…
How to get in bed with a Bi-Sexual woman (satire)
- Why White People can relate to Dexter
- If You’re White, It’s Not Your Fault, Yet It’s Your Fault
- How a Lesbian can’t be turned on by a Straight man
- White People Lucky to be Americans
- Men can be rape victims (just not in the way you think)
- Stop Using Morgan Freeman for your Black History Excuses
We might release these “lost drafts” one day.
And if we offend anyone… well, sorry.
Update: We released one.
Quick Thought: “What Would You Do?”
She said, “What would you do if your son was at home
Cryin’ all alone on the bedroom floor?
Cuz he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him
Is to sleep with a man
For a little bit of money and his daddy’s gone
Somewhere smokin’ rock now
In and out of lockdown, I ain’t got a job now
So for you this is just a good time but for me this is what I call life”
Knowing what you know now, do ever think this is a bit of a stretch?
Quick Thought: One Does Not Equal All
How can ANYONE make a blog talking about a few bad apples and say “this is the Black Race”?
We know… you’ll say “Well, a few White people doesn’t make the whole White race look bad!”
We’ll counter by saying…
- We’re not asking you to go back to your country.
- You have laws that favors the White majority.
- There’s WHITE people that hates you and want to be called something other than “Whitey”.
Your blogs lack common sense. White isn’t going out of style anytime soon, no matter how hard we try.
Quick Thought: We’re Fallible.
Quick Thought: We Hate God…
(Read the whole post before you say anything)
Truth be told, we hate it when people use religion to cover up common sense. As if we’re special. Here’s a few good examples:
“Mitt Romney lost, but our country is in God’s hands”
“God, please continue to watch over us as the country elected Obama”
How can you use God’s name in vain like that?
What’s worse is that people think Obama is literally the Anti-Christ.
We don’t understand you religious folks at all… at least the ones who say things like this.
P.S. - Don’t say “we’ll pray for you, Dark Goliath”. We’ll take that as a diss.
Quick Thought: How Black Women Can Get Ahead…
- Be yourself.
- Don’t listen to anyone but yourself.
- No one owns you.
- You owe nobody.
- You got a lot of words to describe you. Think of just the positive ones.
- If a guy/gal can’t see your (positive) value, forget them.
Signed, a Black Man that could have wrote a book about what’s wrong with Black women, but NOTHING is wrong with Black women.